I am really excited about this post because I am about to help people of a certain age like mine (you know who you are) trying to throw a sophisticated, fun, effortless-looking (yeah, right) adult dinner party with the answer to your most pressing ambience question. What music should be played in the background? It has taken me 15 years to find the answer, but patience is a virtue and I finally have…

But before I give you my big reveal, the key to make your dinner party next level fabulous, some background on my own dinner party-going experiences is in order. The intimate, often seated dinner party is something I was not personally acquainted with until my late 20s when I started working for a law firm. I grew up in a household in the Midwest where my Indian, naturalized American citizen Mom, while working full-time as a pediatrician, raising 3 children with my hands-on Dad, undertaking hours of community service, and growing gorgeous roses and plentiful fruits and veggies in our backyard, entertained all the time. If it was just the 5 of us at a meal, it just wasn’t an occasion. Thanksgivings included foreign medical students she might be teaching or singles or families that hadn’t yet come up with their own Thanksgiving dinner traditions. My Mom celebrated everyone (and every milestone and accomplishment of everyone she cared for, and there were a lot of us) with yes, you guessed it, a dinner party of some sort. They would typically be large-scale events with food chaffers and sternos, parents and kids, platefuls of steaming biriyani, barbecued kabobs on the grill, laughter, toddlers underfoot, her signature sprite and sherbert based pineapple punch and spills on the floor a plenty. And– I just can’t remember there being any music! If there was, I think it would have just added to the chaos and noise level. Don’t get me wrong, these parties were fun, but they were exhausting — both the prep and the clean-up and I am a lot lazier than my mom. Fact. My parents still entertain on this scale and when I visit them, I always enjoy a huge Desi dinner party, but my preference is truly the sit-down dinner with about 10-12 other interesting, fun, appreciative grownups. So here we are…

The key to an elegant, relaxing, intimate dinner party – the kind I always admired on TV (yes, we always come back to TV–they had great dinner parties on that show Brothers & Sisters, I always wanted to be invited), besides great food and great people is cool music. When my husband and I started playing our own iPod playlists in the background of our dinner parties in our last home it often felt weird, or sometimes even embarrassing. We’d be listening to the dulcet tones of Dave Matthews or some similar crooner and then from out of nowhere one of our favorite Indian songs with a crazy strong, rhythmic beat like “Aahun Aahun” would come on and totally change the mood/vibe in the room. And often, Dave was just too romantic for a group dinner party and “Aahun Aahun” sadly, too much culture shock for the invitees :).

So one day, this past winter, we decided to have a dinner at our new home for some colleagues of my husband. Five minutes before the guests arrived, I was still desperately searching moods/genres on Spotify trying to find something to lighten and relax the mood while not being too intimate or too much of a downer. And then, I came across it — Pandora’s HIPSTER COCKTAIL PARTY station. Yes, I know the name of this “station” is absurd and I know everyone likes Spotify better than Pandora, but I am telling you the music on this station is THE BEST background cool, funky, easy listening music you will ever find. Heck I am listening to it right now while I write this post. Songs by classic artists like Louis Armstrong (“La Vie en Rose”) and Bill Withers (“Ain’t No Sunshine”) to newcomers like Elle King (“Under the Influence”), Caro Emerald (“I Know That He’s Mine,” George Ezra (“Barcelona”) and that great song from Big Little Lies, Michael Kiwanuka’s “Cold Little Heart,” all play on this station. While your friends compliment you on your great meal, they will also be complimenting you on your great musical taste, I promise. It’s up to you if you decide to share our little secret. You can thank me later.

Truly yours,

M