So, once upon a time, I was an American Expat living in England.  Before you go thinking, that sounds cool/fun/exciting, you should know that I was miserable in modern-day London-town (specifically the Richmond/Twickenham area) for one whole year.  I hold my husband, the weather, and movies like Notting Hill, Love Actually, and Bridget Jones Diary personally responsible for my predicament.  You see, we moved for my husband’s professional “opportunity of a lifetime” and as a result, I traded in my days at a job with work and colleagues that I loved, time with my American friends and family, my identity and essentially life as I knew it, for life as a “trailing spouse”  [no joke, that is a real term in the Cambridge English dictionary]!  To make matters worse, I thought I knew England/Great Britain.  I assumed, (wrongly) from the movies I’d seen and books I’d read, that the lush green vistas, living history, and the charming, quirky, intelligent, people with sparkling wit, beautifully clipped accents and thoughtful social consciences would be ready and available for me to enjoy shortly after I moved in to our new home. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.

First, the weather, as the Brits would say, was ghastly! We moved to England in May 2007 and I am not exaggerating when I say there were only two weeks that entire summer where it did not rain.  I was friendless.  My husband insisted that we have the real English life experience (did I mention that he is British?) so we did not live in a neighborhood near an American school containing folks who might be interested in befriending newcomers who may only be in town for a year or two.  Instead, we lived in a neighborhood where I promise you it took two years for my neighbors to actually acknowledge my presence with a nod/clipped hello when walking down the sidewalks.  My lovely sisters-in-law (who were both taking work hiatus from the law at the time) lived about a 45 minute drive away from me and I was too intimidated to drive for the first year on the wrong side of the road sitting on the wrong side of the car.  My sole weekday companion was my two-year-old daughter and boy did we become buddies — but then, she started 1/2 day nursery school.  When I woke up in the mornings, there was no one to call for six hours because of the time difference.  I was so homesick for America that I made us eat McDonald’s at least once every weekend and got hooked on reruns of the OC which aired on Britain’s ITV pretty much non-stop. And, I was angry.  I did not like being taken out of my comfort zone.  I did not like being a “stay at home Mum” for the first time in my life. I did not like the rain.  I did not like the fact that my “American accent” was constantly commented upon.  I did not like the lack of space, the exorbitant prices, the small quantities, the tight parking spaces…there was a lot I didn’t like.  You get the picture.

But then, something changed.  I got pregnant with my second child and while I had hyperemesis and was incapacitated for 20 weeks (yes, like Duchess Kate, but longer), when I got over it, I felt new purpose and actually enjoyed the remainder of my pregnancy without the strain of having to go back to work this time around.  Our friends and family who visited, LOVED England and made me see it with a less cloudy lens. I joined a National Childbirth Trust birthing class and made some British friends. I caved in and though I felt pathetic for not being able to make friends in England on my own, I finally joined the American Women’s Expat Group in London and met some of the most lovely and amazing women I’ve ever known that I am still friends with to this day.  I went for walks in the rain with a raincoat and wellies.  I visited the Victoria and Albert museum, Kew Gardens and Hampton Court Palace.  I soaked in the glorious, lush, green, colorful beauty of a perfect sunny day in England whenever the opportunity presented.  I started watching a Brit reality TV show, Come Dine with Me and began to cook more, appreciating the rich taste of British dairy products (Waitrose camembert with truffle and clotted cream are still my favorites) and the pure, unrivaled sweetness of EU produce.  I appreciated how well read and knowledgeable about world events the Brits I met were…They cared about the environment and international issues deeply.  I even knew Brits who hosted fireside chats about the U.S. elections when Obama ran for the first time!   I bonded with my husband and our two girls in a way that was different and more focused — when you are a stranger in a strange land, outside of your immediates, you don’t have the constant interruptions of those you know and love calling and visiting and needing and wanting you and vice versa. Before I knew it we had built a good, peaceful, full, new family home and life.  And then it was time to move back to America.

Looking back, my time in England, is now time I cherish.  It taught me how to adapt, slow down, and appreciate both familiar and new things, people and places, and experiences even more.   Ironically because life in England was not consistently easy, beautiful, fun, full or heartwarming, I learned to seize upon the moments that were.  This is a quality that I think most Brits carry with them — to seize the good, bright and beautiful moments when they can and to keep calm and carry on when things are grey.  It’s also, I am learning, the secret to living a balanced life.

Thank you for letting me go on about all that — now to what you have been reading for, a brief account of some of the many contemporary British treats that I have enjoyed over the past several years.

Books

One Day –  by David Nicholls, 2009

I loved this book which follows one day in the ever changing relationship, personal and professional lives of two college grads who hook up the day after graduation from Edinburgh University on July 15, 1988 for 20 years.  The self discovery and the journey Dexter and Emma follow to and away from each other is at times funny, sad, romantic and hopeful.  There is something in this book that anyone who has ever been in love or who has sought to live his/her best life can relate to and it’s central message, to take advantage of the sweetness of life while you have it, resonates to this day.

My Oxford Year – by Julia Whelan, 2018

I just finished this book which I gobbled up in two days because it was such easy, enjoyable reading. The premise? American Ella Durran goes to Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar to pursue her long held dream of being a “Rhodie” and experiencing the perks that rarefied life has to offer prior to settling into her dream job in D.C. working on a rising political star’s presidential campaign.  But a wrinkle in that plan emerges when she takes up with her dreamy, privileged Oxford English Prof who is hiding a disturbing secret.

Movies

About a Boy – (2002, Comedy/Drama Hugh Grant, PG-13)

I have no idea if people know about this movie or not. It is one of my husband and my all-time favorites.  Hugh Grant plays a selfish, snooty, cool and confirmed English bachelor who lives comfortably off the royalties of a famous song by his father and does not appear to have a care in the world until an awkward teenager with a rough family life befriends him and upends his solitary existence and life.  Hugh Grant narrates in the background and is perfectly cast; Toni Collette as the awkward boy Marcus’s troubled and eccentric mother is fantastic.

Bend It Like Beckham – (2002, Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, PG-13)

Another one of my husband and my favorite movies ever, which was a sleeper hit, if you love England or India, cross-cultural conflict and friendship, young love, family dynamics and/or soccer [or football as the Brits say], this movie is a must see.

Run Fat Boy Run – (2007, Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, PG-13)

I have been recommending this little known film to anyone who will listen for a decade now. A simple, funny, heartwarming story about a man who is willing to do anything [in this case, run a marathon when he is completely unprepared to do so] to prove to the love of his life [Newton] that he once jilted that he is mature enough to be her man.  Simon Pegg is hilarious and perfect in this role.

About Time (2013, Rachel McAdams, Domhnall Gleeson, R)

Very touching, rosy-glow filmed movie by the makers of Notting Hill about a young man (Gleeson) who upon turning 21 learns he can travel back in time to correct his mistakes and decides to make the woman of his dreams (McAdams) fall in love with him. The surprise of this film is the very sweet relationship between Gleeson and his father in the film.

Me Before You (2016, Emilia Clarke, Sam Clafin, PG-13)

I did not read the book by Jojo Moyes before you give me the feedback that it was better than the movie.  I just started watching this less than 2 hour movie one night while my husband was working on his laptop next to me in search of a good, short distraction. The scenery, storyline and chemistry between Clarke and Clafin was noteworthy enough to get my husband to put his laptop away and watch it with me. A very sweet romance, though you will need to have tissues handy.

Television

Ladies of London (2014, Bravo, Amazon Prime)

I am kind of embarrassed that I am endorsing what is essentially a Real Housewives of London, but who am I kidding, I watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for entertainment value from time to time and this is basically that but set in London with posh accents and American Expat issues of trying to fit in with the British elite while being proud of one’s American roots at the same time. Why do intelligent women watch shows like this you ask?  Well, I personally think it’s because we are all fascinated by how others live and the ladies of London (like those in Beverly Hills) live in atmospheres replete with beauty and self-made drama, AKA entertainment.   Sometimes when I watch a show like this or Real Housewives of BH, I wonder about women’s abilities to be petty, snide, and be involved in unnecessary drama, but then I realize that men have these same qualities, but for whatever reasons there just are not TV shows built around them – yet.

The Office (UK version) (2001, Netflix)

The original U.K. office with Ricky Gervaise is just the best.  The humor is sharper. The filming is greyer. The messaging less obvious.  In short it exemplifies the difference between U.K. and U.S. humor and it is good.

Luther (2010, Netflix)

This is a gritty crime drama in which Idris Elba plays a detective who runs around London trying to find and stop serial killers.  It is a fascinating look at contemporary London which is a far cry from the Notting Hill version of the same city.  The only treat about this show is Idris Elba himself, but his acting was enough to keep us watching and if you like mysteries, you will certainly like Luther.

Okay, that was a marathon blog post, Treat-A-Weekers, hope you enjoy something from it and until next Monday!

Yours truly,

M